A Moment of Reflection

After reading Ephesians Chapter 1, I've taken a bit of a pause (yes, maybe too much of a pause) and I've reflected on some of the things that have stood out to me.

Paul is showing us just how thankful we should be for all of the blessings that Christ has poured out onto us. Paul uses the term "lavished" to describe these blessings that Christ has poured out onto us; meaning that Christ has given us these blessings in abundance (more then we need). But yet, I continually find myself thinking I don't have what I need; always comparing myself to others and others circumstances thinking that God is "holding out." But, I have to realize, he isn't withholding anything from me. He is lavishing pouring out his blessings onto me. And this is what I must set my mind to focus on.

I summed up my thoughts on Chapter 1 like this...

What more could someone ask for... God created us, chose us, paid our ransom, has given us a deposit for our inheritance, and the same power used to raise Christ from the dead is being used for us! But yet, I write this, I read it, I am overwhelmed by this amazing truth, and yet find myself still struggling with faith! SERIOUSLY! This sums up just how much God loves us (me)! Who else would go to such great lengths to show their love and devotion? I know of no one!

He Chose Me

Ephesians 1:3-14 is still causing me to reflect and dig deep; to the point where my brain is hurting! Just in case you need a refresher on what the scripture says...

Ephesians 1:3-14
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his site. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment to bring all things under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession - to the praise of his glory.

What has completely stumped and boggled my mind is this whole idea of "predestination." It is so hard to fathom that God; the soverign God of the universe; my Lord and savior would choose ME! Why choose me out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this earth? And to top that off, he choose me BEFORE the foundation of the universe? So, my path (aka - plan, walk, journey, etc...) has been laid out for me? Does God "choose" only those individuals that he knows will accept Him as his Lord and savior? Was this done at random, not knowing who would answer His call? Does this mean, those of us who are "called out ones" do not have free-will?

This topic of election/predestination/adoption has completely peaked my curiousity. I have started sifting through some information on the internet (which of course causes my head to hurt even more). Who knows if I'll fully understand the concepts, but they are intriguing none the less.

What boggles my mind the most is that God has chose me, and others to be "called out." We are to be different, holy, blameless. I have to ask myself.... am I living in a way that reflects this "called out" status? Would others that view me and the way I live, do things, treat people be a honoring reflection of who God is?

Lord, please foster in me a desire to live my life as one of your servants. Help me lived the "called out" life you desire for me.

Mind Over Matter

Ephesians 1:3-14 has really caused me to think/reflect/ponder to the point where I'm like..."my head hurts" (ha ha). All of this in a good way of course. It has taken me a few days to wrap my head around Chapters 2 & 3 of my study that focus on these verses. Enough so, that I wasn't sure what to write. So this is my attempt and expressing my thoughts on this section...

If someone asked you, "What does it mean to be in Christ?" what would you say to them to where they really understood? I honestly had to take a moment and think. Did I REALLY understand what this meant for me or others? To some degree, yes, but if I'm honest, I'd have to say I actually went and Googled it. I found some really great explanations and thoughts on this question that helped me better understand. Here are a few.... To be "In Christ"....

• You are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ
• You are chosen before the foundation of the world
• You are holy and without blame
• You have been adopted
• You are accepted
• You are redeemed
• You have forgiveness of sins
• You know the mystery of His will
• You have obtained an inheritance
• You are His glory
• You are sealed with the Holy Spirit
• You inheritance is guaranteed

And this is just some of the great things I found. It really made sense to me, when I read where someone stated that, to them, being in Christ is coming to him daily asking for more of Him; His love, grace, knowledge, forgiveness. This really made me ask myself...am I actively pursuing a life in Christ? Am I going to Him daily asking for these things? Not like I should. Just reflecting on this small list of blessings that have been GIVEN to me, it's overwhelming. I don't think anyone could ask for anything more then what Christ is offering; giving freely out of love.

It is hard to fathom someone would willingly and freely offer such things. Especially when we live in a society where there are always "strings attached" or "payments due."

The reality is, and this section of my study goes into this, we do not live remembering these full benefits in mind. We allow for our minds to be attacked and what we know about Christ to be torn down. I know that I battle with my own thoughts constantly. Just within this past week, since starting this study, I have had to battle with my own thoughts even more then normal. Thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts of frustration, thoughts questioning all of the truth I do know about Christ. And I'm sure, the more I desire and pursue God's word, my mind will be attacked even more.

I agree with the author, when she states that, " Thoughts left to themselves are not going to just naturally stay on a spiritually healthy mental path." I know mine don't! The less I am in God's Word and in prayer, the less my mind is spiritually healthy. This is exactly what Satan wants. The last thing he wants is for us to be spiritually at our best and close to God. So, he will attack in any way possible. If he can attack our mind, cause our thoughts to stray, cause frustration to rise, cause questions in our minds, then he can pull us away in action as well.

Lord, I pray that my mind stays focused on you, your truth, and your blessings. Help me to rid my mind of all thoughts that are dishonoring to you and your truth.

A New Perspective

So, in following my study, for the next few chapters, the book focuses on Ephesians 1:3-14. Not too bad right? Only 12 verses. But WOW! Talk about making you do some major thinking/reflection. The author started off by focusing on "heavenly places" and posed a couple of questions...

• "From what angle do you view the variety of situations you face during a given day?"
• "Does the reality of what is happening in the heavenly places influence how you view your earthly circumstances?"

If I am being completely honest, I would have to say that I focus on my earthly situations/circumstances before I view things in terms of eternity. My "reality" is the here and now. My earthly circumstances are what drives me, keep me going, or bring me down. I completely have a wrong view of things. Rarely do I take time to focus, reflect, etc... on my heavenly reality. I am so consumed with what I do and don't have here on Earth that I lose site of what I DO have in Christ.

So, my point of view needs to be reworked. Just in these few pages, I am starting to realize just how narrow a mindset I do have. God is providing me with so much more; so much more to strive for; to look forward to. But, yet, I choose not to focus on what he has provided, is providing and will provide. I am choosing to focusing on my earthly realities; earthly struggles.

Yes, I do believe that I need to focus on what is going on in the here and now, but a better understanding and balance in my perspective of eternity and my present and future in Christ is a must!

The author shares 2 verses that I find very comforting...

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 - "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

Colossians 3:1-3 - If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

I pray that in the days, weeks, months, and years to come that I am able to view things in light of my eternal reward; knowing that I have a place in heaven with Christ. Lord, please foster in me this mindset.

The Journey Begins

For several months now, I have been in, which some would describe as, a spiritual depression. I have been "going through the motions" of my walk with the Lord; being present at church, present at fellowship group, present at church outings/functions, etc... But the desire, passion, or thirst for a relationship with the Lord has been non-existent. It is rather difficult to express this lack of desire for the Lord, especially when I know in my mind that this is the most important thing in my life. I should be passionately pursuing a deeper knowledge of who God is, what He has done for me, and what He desires for me as one of His children.

I can say, however, in the past few weeks, this depression of sorts has gotten somewhat better. I have recently finished my 6th year of teaching, which has given me a huge amount of free time. The tricky thing about free time is deciding what actually to do with it. Does one just completely take advantage of this opportunity to be completely care-free and lazy? Does one try to keep their time structured? As tempting as the care-free option sounds, and I'm sure I'll have numerous days of laziness, I have decided to force myself into the more "structured" mindset. I have decided to commit to 6 weeks of prayer and study of God's Word.

Some would say..."only 6 weeks? That sounds easy." Actually, it does sound easy in thought, but actually putting this thought into practice has already been suprisingly difficult. But with that, I am determinded to get myself refocused, motivated, and back on track spiritually. I have no idea what this 6 week journey will bring, if it will "do the trick," but I am willing to find out. I desire for this time to draw me closer to God, help me better understand who He is, what He has done for me, and what He desires for me.

As a way to hold myself accountable, I have decided to document my journey in this blog. I have never really understood the popularity of blogging, but have decided to give it a try. I am using it as my "accountability partner." I have to stick with my studying/prayer time in order to document my journey in this blog. So, since I don't want to feel like I am "dropping the ball," I am using this as my public journal. If for whatever reason, someone happens across this blog, maybe they will find comfort, be able to relate, share thoughts, ideas, share experiences in how they have struggled and perservered in their walk with the Lord.

So, as I begin, I have chose a study of the book of Ephesians (By His Wounds You Are Healed by Wendy Hoger Alsup), which was suggested to me by a good friend. Thank you Katherine! I have just started reading this book and it has already brought up some great areas to reflect on...

• "We can quote the gospel. We know it, but we do not always use it. We talk about it, but we often do not apply it."
• "Do you walk daily believing his punishment on the cross has bought your peace, and by his wounds we are healed?"

I know that Jesus came and died on the cross for my sins. But do I truly, in the depths of my soul believe that my sins have been washed away (as David talks about in Psalm 51)? It is so easy to hold onto all of the guilt, fear, and/or shame that comes along with sin, but Jesus has wiped this all away. Do I truly believe this or do I allow doubt, society, Satan to blur my beliefs? If I were to be completely honest, I would have to say that I do allow these things to get in my way of fully believing in what Jesus has done for me. As Psalm 51:3 says... "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me."

I can only pray now for God to "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me." (Psalm 51:10-11)